My Official Will

I'm going skydiving today in celebration of life.

With that said, this is my official will.

Unfortunately for you all, in the circumstance of my death, I won't have anything too awesome to hand out since I am $20,000 in debt with student loans. This obviously goes to my parents by default.

To compensate for this, I will therefore relinquish to them my prized green binky.



It's soft, it's warm, it's cozy, what better else to comfort one who suddenly has to pay off their own daughter's debt? I'm so considerate.



Nibbles, my beloved lil hammy. This little monster has been dear to my heart since my purchase almost three weeks ago. But careful, she bites. She goes to Mellie Grafil because she plays the guitar and I know her fingers can handle bloody hammy bites of love.



Cell phone/Macbook/Facebook account must go as far away from my parents as possible so they may never know the shenanigans their one and only precious daughter has ever gotten herself into... so how about to Africa, so may the little children there may lessen their impression on the holier-than-thou United States of America. We may be the land of the free and rich, but what use do we put it to? We create shows like That’s Amore, The Hills, and other brain deteriorators (I think I invent a new word every blog) that I am shamelessly addicted to.




Ipod touch go to Jenny Dolz so she may rock out with her cock out. And who doesn’t love a cock rockin’? ...Awkward sentence. Does hand motion of ‘awkward sentence’ similar to ‘awkward turtle’ except more sentence-like than turtle-like.



My unnamed Prius goes to someone who should be renamed who shamelessly attempted to name my precious car after him but failed miserably. I know he secretly wishes he had a Prius instead of his BMW. We all can’t have amazing tastes in motor vehicles such as I do.

Disneyland Annual Pass goes to Lainey since she somewhat resembles me (all Filipinos look alike!) and since she is being lame and isn't getting one this year! You’re already happy so I guess the only thing I can give you is the happiest place on earth, except on days these people go:



I could go on seeing that I have such wonderful possessions. But time's a'wastin' and I gots to jump out of a plane. So... everything else you can fight for in a battle of wits by playing Scene It: Harry Potter.