Monday, March 17, 2008

Do you take cash?

Back in September, a friend and I decided to hang out one evening. Seeing as we were unsure of what to do, we decided to venture out to The Grove for a bite to eat. Now, for those unfamiliar with this general area, The Grove is a pseudo European- esque, overpriced, outdoor shopping mall located in the Fairfax district of Los Angeles. The Grove (or The G-Spot as I like to refer to it) was constructed to give off the effect of looking like the central historic district of an old Mediterranean city. The novelty of this concept is ridiculous considering the older surrounding areas of this location, like much of Los Angeles, are left to decay in the shadow of new and trendy conglomeratic businesses. The funny thing is that the Grove was built right next to the famous Farmers Market, which is one of the last landmarks of Old Hollywood. In the juxtaposition of placing old and new together, one can see firsthand how the progression of time truly changes everything.

Upon tiring of the newfangled phoniness that is the Grove, we decided to explore the more antique and culturally distinguished Farmers Market. This place is very neat. Having opened back in 1934, you can still sense a lot of history when meandering through the different little stores and vendors. But just as I was getting used to the less uptight surroundings and fewer hoity-toity people, I see a Pinkberry. The bright and fruity colors of the Pinkberry stood out like a pubescent boys raging boner. It completely did not belong there. But, those colors mesmerized and hypnotized us, and before we new it, we were in line to get some of this overpriced, addictive frozen yogurt. There is indeed a reason why it’s been lovingly nicknamed, “Crackberry.”

Naturally, there was a wait to purchase the frozen treat, but we didn’t mind. While in line, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of the two women in front of us. If I remember correctly, it was more or less something about clothes, shoes, or babies, but that doesn’t really matter. What struck me most wasn’t WHAT they were talking about, but HOW they were talking; particularly one woman. Her vocabulary was basically limited to “Like,” “Oh my God,” and, “Like” again. I found this very amusing and I appreciate every moment that makes me feel infinitely more intelligent than those around me. I felt the urge to give her a hug in gratitude, but restrained myself for fear of being arrested or accused of being called a lesbo. It was finally her turn to order the crackberry, but just when I thought things couldn’t get any more interesting, she uttered this question: “Like, do you take cash?”

It was as if someone punched me in the stomach. My friend and I looked at each other in complete shock. The circuits in my brain were on cognitive overload as I tried to make sense of the situation. Had she seriously asked that question? I hate to inform you, but yes ladies and gentlemen, she did. My prior amusement turned into complete anger. Not anger towards her necessarily, but anger at yet another confirmation that the human race is in fact getting dumb and dumber. I tried giving the benefit of the doubt, but one glance at the mammoth plastic orbs jutting from her chest and the juicy couture purse should have been a hint at what I was dealing with. This question not only validated her stupidity, but also gave insight towards her character. The fact that she asked if they took cash obviously shows that this woman is addicted to the plastic form of payment, also known as a credit card. Yes, credit cards are important because if used correctly, responsibly, and by paying on time, you can raise your credit score which will in tern help you purchase a car or house in the future. A pretty nifty deal if you ask me. But, the majority of people abuse this because it’s quick, “invisible” money. And as mentioned before, just by the looks of her, she’s most likely one of the dim witted materialistic women that seem to be popping up more often in our society. It’s all very depressing, but very true.

I wanted to inform her that cash is in fact used as a medium of exchange used throughout the world. Yes, even in California, even if it doesn’t seem like it. It is a socially and legally accepted method of payment for goods and services, goods in this case being Pinkberry. The first coins started being used by Kings around 560BC; Proof that if royalty used it way back then, it is far superior to a stupid plastic credit card any day. Cash will never go out of style and being a server through college, I have a personal sweet spot for cash therefore I found this question to be insulting to my being.

But, I have no one to blame but myself. I should have known better that the cretins from the Grove would venture into the Farmers Market. How silly I was to think that I could escape, even for a moment, from their shallow, superficial, fashionista ways. I guess I’ll keep wishing.